-
january
Posted by alicia on Jan 31, 2005 in Life
did anybody else realize that today is the end of january? i just found out….i’m still in shock.
women in my global family
Posted by alicia on Jan 25, 2005 in Life
i watched most of the oprah show yesterday while i was working out. the theme of the show was helping others in need around the world. she started with the tsunami victims, but then had a segment on the women in DR Congo. i guess our regular news is so full of iraq that i dont realize what is happening in other places around the world.
warning: the next paragraph is about the treatment of women in the congo….it is violent and hard for the heart to endure.
the democratic republic of Congo has been plagued with war and violence for years. the main victims of war are the women and children, who are seen as “war booty”. rape, violent gang rape, is being used as a weapon of war. i am still overwhelmed by the stories i heard yesterday that my heart seems to be frozen with ache. men from within the congo come out in the night and storm into the homes of innocent families. then they violently gang rape the women….and even children. some women are taken back into the forrest where they are held captive as sex slaves, being raped everyday by multiple men. with no one to help them the victims do not have an authority figure to protect them, nor do they have medical help. due to disease and other health concerns that result from violent gang rape, it is common for the husband of an attacked woman to abandon her.
i do not know much about the history of war in the DR Congo, but i wish to learn. i hope that learning about the history and current situation will lead to discovering a way that i can help provide the victims with hope. i’ve found an organization that is helping the women recover from violent attacks. but i wish to do more than give money. please let me know if you feel the desire to aid the women of our global family…..maybe we can work together.
-
snowday
Posted by alicia on Jan 22, 2005 in Life
the first decent snowfall of the season. since i was little girl there has been something magical about the snow, about the way it gracefully falls from the sky and purifies everything around with a soft white blanket. its amazing and sometimes surprising how nature can evoke such powerful emotions within me. the beautiful snow always stirs up the strongest of emotions. today i am overwhelmed by its beauty and a great desire to be more intune with my Creator fills my soul when i gaze at the snow shining in the night.
end of the minimester
Posted by alicia on Jan 21, 2005 in Life
yesterday was the last day of my minimester class. what a huge relief to be done with that class. it was not hard, just time consuming. spring semester classes start on wednesday. i’m somewhat excited because this will be my last semester of undergrad!!! yippie!
on a completely different thought….dan slept for 13 hours last night.
-
simple pilgrim photos
Posted by alicia on Jan 19, 2005 in Life
hey, check out our photo page to see some new pics of friends. also, be sure to look at the pics of audrey to see her relaxing in all her favorite spots.
our small group thing
Posted by alicia on Jan 14, 2005 in Life
i want to blog about our small group thing, but i’m not sure what i want to say, therefore, i just plan on rambling.
our small group thing meets on monday nights. this past monday was like a really bad date. to be honest, we’ve had a couple bad dates lately. the bad dates affect all of us and leave us wondering about our future together. over the past few days we’ve been talking, emailing, and blogging about the “situation” aka…bad dates. yet, no resolution has been set. in fact, i am more confused and concerned than i was before all the talking, emailing, & blogging.
it’s becoming apparent to me that we each have very different ideas of “what to do” as a group. though we each mention our interests, it seems that we seldom understand the interests of others, and we never try to link them together. or, that when we do decide on a “course”, we neglect who we are as individuals. lately, our evenings have been full of generic activities that we would probably never ever do, except for the fact that they are things we learned to do at church. i don’t want to be limited to my past experiences, but to let them serve as the springboard for diving into a spirit-led life.
about 2 months ago i wrote in my journal about one of our bad dates and i want to share it here….(or atleast the clean parts).
yesterday was monday, so we had our group. lately we have been reading a small book of the Bible and coming together to talk about it. sounds like a decent plan. God knows it has been successful the hundreds of other times i’ve done this. but for us, it has proven to be a waste of time. without purpose & direction our converstaions are shallow & somewhat boring.
so, after our “discussion” last night we tried to discuss what we will do next. you would think that we could come up with something that halfway appeals to everyone, but, no.
what is our purpose as a group?
of course we dont know how to function & encourage growth b/c we lack identity & purpose. when we first came together we were all in desperate need of healing (for various reasons). it was during that time that we bonded with one another and shared life together. but now without identity or purpose we wonder aimlessly from week to week without significant changes or growth.
i dont want to sound like we are a company and we need to set our buisness goals….i get enough of that at work. but i do wonder how we will reach what God has instore for us if we don’t even question why we are together. just as last year, healing, was an obvious gift that we each needed to receive. with that in mind, we started our journey. though what we did from week to week may not differ much from what we do now, we had purpose, we had identity, and we knew what God had instore for us. but now…..
i believe that if we look, it will be revealed. the gift we need to receive, our purpose, our identity…it will be revealed and eventually fulfilled by the One who revealed it. the way to fill this void and put an end to the regular bad dates lies within us. we can continue to try different things each week, hoping to find the magic recipe that will give us the food that we need, or we could consider asking for our purpose to be revealed.
-
the awakening
Posted by alicia on Jan 14, 2005 in Life
last night i finished re-reading the awakening by kate chopin. i read it once in high school and was reminded of it lately. just wanted to share a quote that is at the heart of the story and that struck me so strongly when i read it.
“….he could not see that she was becoming herself and daily casting aside that fictitious self which we assume like a garment with which to appear before the world.”
-
rime of the ancient mariner
Posted by alicia on Jan 11, 2005 in Life
last night at our group scott was showing off his new journal. i was flipping through it and saw a quote by samuel t. coleridge. all night i pondered “samuel t. coleridge….i know i read something by him….a poem…..an epic poem! but what was it?” unable to survive today without figuring this out, i googled mr. coleridge. ah, yes. its all coming back to me. i spent countless hours trying to read and understand rime of the ancient mariner. some of the imagery from that poem still haunts me.
-
forget it
Posted by alicia on Jan 9, 2005 in Life
forget homework….forget going to bed….forget everything that i need to do. dan just walked in the door with a wonderful surprise for me……the second season of gilmore girls!!!!!!!! i am married to the most amazing man and i hope he will continue to love me during our multiple gilmore girl marathons.
-
saturday night
Posted by alicia on Jan 9, 2005 in Life
it’s saturday night and like a normal young, fun-loving girl i’m…..doing homework. blah. it’s actually not that bad. this is the first time i’ve been motivated to do my homework since the minimester started. i’m glad i’m taking this sport psyc class. i’m hoping it will help improve my health behavior change skills. i was talking to jarrett about my class and i realized that this is my 4th psyc class. i am kinda surprised that i’ve had so many psyc classes. i must say that i find my health-related psyc classes much more enjoyable than other psyc classes. i guess because i have the opportunity to apply what i learn in my classes to my experiences at work.
thank you
Posted by alicia on Jan 2, 2005 in Life
thanks to dan for making my blog look so pretty! i love you!
-
my uncle
Posted by alicia on Jan 1, 2005 in Life
we went to visit my family for Christmas. and my uncle lloyd was there. i’m sure some of you could share some stories about him that would serve as evidence for what i’m about to say.
my uncle isn’t very nice to my family. in fact, he is mean. on most days “mean” would be an understatement. it’s very perplexing as to how someone so hateful came from such a loving, caring family. but anyway, as usual while my uncle was visiting my family he did all that he could to insult, upset, stress out, belittle, and control my grandmother & mom. (the only reason i escaped his wrath was by hiding in my old bedroom.) on the last day of our visit my uncle was being especially mean to my grandmother….so much that she was in tears. well, i decided to ask him to stop being mean to her. and he responded by yelling and insulting me. (no, this is not middle school…..just a normal interaction with my uncle.)
after thinking about this incident and years full of similar situations i realize that no one in my life has caused me as much hurt & heartache as my uncle. every wound in my heart and insecurity that i have he has intentionally used against me…..used to cause me more pain. those who have read wild at heart understand the wounded heart and even know how eldridge talks of the wounds we receive from our fathers. well, the wounds i received from my absent father do not cause me near as much pain as the wounds caused by my uncle.
and now i am tired. tired of being hurt. and so i have decided that i will no longer put myself in the position to be struck by an arrow from my uncle. i dont want to have any interaction with him. it sounds horrible to say that i’m cutting my uncle out of my life. but honestly, he’s not really invovled and i dont think he will really care. in fact, i’m sure he doesn’t care.
i’m considering writing my uncle a letter. it will probably be a letter that i write, but never send. i want to recognize and express the wounds that i have received from him. i need healing.
-
happy new year
Posted by alicia on Jan 1, 2005 in Life
i’m sure everyone is dying to know how dan & i celebrated the new year. well, we had a nice dinner, bought lottery tickets, had some wine, and then had a gilmore girls marathon till 3 am. we didn’t even watch the ball drop. oh….it was so much fun! 
anyone making new year’s resolutions/goals? i haven’t really thought about it that much. i’ve only thought of one resolution….i hope to write more in 2005 and possibly start capitalizing my sentences. i figure if i’m going to write, i better get use to using capital letters. i’ll start tomorrow. 
i have been thinking about how much my life could change this year. hopefully i will graduate college and pick a grad school, i will become an aunt, dan & i could move, i could possibly get a “grown-up” job. that is a lot of stuff for one year. i hope 2005 can handle it all.