my uncle
we went to visit my family for Christmas. and my uncle lloyd was there. i’m sure some of you could share some stories about him that would serve as evidence for what i’m about to say.
my uncle isn’t very nice to my family. in fact, he is mean. on most days “mean” would be an understatement. it’s very perplexing as to how someone so hateful came from such a loving, caring family. but anyway, as usual while my uncle was visiting my family he did all that he could to insult, upset, stress out, belittle, and control my grandmother & mom. (the only reason i escaped his wrath was by hiding in my old bedroom.) on the last day of our visit my uncle was being especially mean to my grandmother….so much that she was in tears. well, i decided to ask him to stop being mean to her. and he responded by yelling and insulting me. (no, this is not middle school…..just a normal interaction with my uncle.)
after thinking about this incident and years full of similar situations i realize that no one in my life has caused me as much hurt & heartache as my uncle. every wound in my heart and insecurity that i have he has intentionally used against me…..used to cause me more pain. those who have read wild at heart understand the wounded heart and even know how eldridge talks of the wounds we receive from our fathers. well, the wounds i received from my absent father do not cause me near as much pain as the wounds caused by my uncle.
and now i am tired. tired of being hurt. and so i have decided that i will no longer put myself in the position to be struck by an arrow from my uncle. i dont want to have any interaction with him. it sounds horrible to say that i’m cutting my uncle out of my life. but honestly, he’s not really invovled and i dont think he will really care. in fact, i’m sure he doesn’t care.
i’m considering writing my uncle a letter. it will probably be a letter that i write, but never send. i want to recognize and express the wounds that i have received from him. i need healing.
