Honoring The 32 & Honoring My 1
Barely left with the energy I needed to drive home, I returned from an emotionally exhausting weekend in Narrows. My family had 2 dreaded tasks to complete this weekend. First, on Friday I joined my family and we drove down a windy road to meet with a man who would help us design a headstone for the grave. The second task ahead of us was to attend the memorial dedication at Va Tech. Obviously these 2 tasks have strong similarity in that they were both using a big rock to set up a memorial for us to honor lost ones.
On Friday I had expected my family to be too overwhelmed for us to work together and design a headstone fitting for Jarrett’s grave and I was quite sure that I’d leave very frustrated. But, I was wrong. Very wrong. It was beautiful moment as we spent hours talking about Jarrett and his passions. His memorial will be a good representation of places that were special to him, his appreciation of unique structures, and his family nickname. A small bit of peace came into me after we finished designing his memorial.
Sunday’s memorial dedication was a very different experience. I’m sure many people thought the ceremony was encouraging and full of Hokie spirit. Not me. The heat combined with the speeches “moving me forward” left me feeling like I was going to faint. I’ve grown tired of memorials that are more about the ones left behind and I’m weary of speeches about prevailing. Those memorials do not bring me any peace. I can not attend them and fondly remember my brother.
I hope the dedication ceremony was the last event at Tech that I will attend to honor The 32. Instead, I will remember My 1. This coming Friday is Narrows High School’s first football game of the season. Before the game they are retiring Jarrett’s jersey and at half-time the Va Tech band is performing. Earlier this month my mom received 100 CDs with the Craig Whittaker song written for Jarrett. Later this year, a bridge in Narrows will be named in honor of Jarrett. Just before Christmas of this year, the black onyx headstone designed by his family will be put into place and I will honor My 1.
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Thanks for sharing, Alicia. I’m glad you had a great time with your family remembering your brother.
God bless you and your family, Alicia. I can’t imagine the horror you all must have felt (and probably continue to feel) due to the tragedy. It’s certainly a wonderful thing that you all can come together for this extremely important time. I’m sure it wouldn’t be any other way for you.
Alicia.. I sit and ponder on you and your family.. how are you all getting through this. There isn’t a day that goes by that Jarrett doesn’t enter my mind.. I know you all are tired!! Tired of being reminded, like you’d forget that horrific day..NOT!!!! You, Fawn, Tracey, and Nancy seem so strong and amazing!! My memories will be forever strong and I know your alls will be also.. I’ll be at the game, not to be a spectator but to HONOR your beloved brother!!! I miss him dearly too… He was a pleasant dear young man!!!
you know I don’t know why exactly, but I still have kept that text I received at 4:19pm that day. I was at Tyson’s Corner on my way home from a fun filled, but draining weekend in DC. That morning I heard about everything and didn’t think much of it, just a “oh weird..” as I read the headline on yahoo.com.
then I get your text and just think to myself…not possible, but I’ll pray anyway…I love you guys. I’m grateful for you letting me join your family in mourning your brother that next weekend with you. I look forward to seeing you guys this coming weekend at your home…
Falls coming up on us and I know that spring is supposed to be the blooming of newness and happy pretty times, but I love fall the most. Even though most things start to pick back up again, my heart starts to slow down and look back on the memories since the leaves fell last. I always try and look at the good of what came out of it all because I know winter isn’t far behind and that just brings irritation for 4 solid months. So I don’t know how I’m going to take in this coming fall right now. How exactly will I wrap my head around all of this? Not sure, but I hope to be closer to you guys as you still wrestle through.
See you soon.
Alicia,
I’ve never met you. I read your blog regularly. This entry leaves me literally at a loss for words. You do a great job of expressing how inconceivable and complicated the emotions you’re going through are.
God bless you.
-Chris w.
i love you Alicia.