Escaping

Yesterday I was reminded of a scene in movie I recently watched. In the scene a woman compared a previous relationship to a small, windowless room. Each day the walls close in on her a bit more, and the room gets smaller. It continues to shrink until it is like a box, or a casket. Her mind, heart and soul become consumed with thoughts of how she will escape.

I relate to this, not because of a certain relationship in my life, but because of many areas in my life. I have built the walls of my windowless room with fear of disappointing people I love; my fear of history repeating; my inability to forgive; and my insecurities.

These walls surround me each day – on some days the room they form is very tiny, other days there is enough space for me to stretch out and to think that I’m free.

This week the walls have closed in on me like a casket, and I am consumed with escaping. Today I’m going to visit another therapist to see if he can help me break down these walls some and be free. Free to make the choices I want to make for myself. Free to exercise wisdom, and to live a little irresponsibly from time to time.  Free to love and be loved.

Tags: Insanity

Anne Lamott Interview

I have a few friends who are new fans of Anne Lamott….and I have a few that have loved her for years. I found this video of an interview she did last year at the 2007 Writer’s Symposium by the Sea.

Conversation with Anne Lamott

Tags: From another, Reading, Spirituality, Writing

Clothes Swap!

Do you have some clothes you need to get rid of? But also have the urge to add some new pieces to your closet?

Instead of throwing out our clothes and buying new ones, let’s trade!

Bring out those clothes, shoes, jewelry and handbags that just sit in your closet and trade them for something “new to you”.

I’m inviting girls of all styles, shapes and sizes. Pass along the invitation to any girls that you think might be interested!
Date: 8/16

Time: 1-4

Where: My house (email/leave comment for address)

Tags: Friends, Style

Flavor of the Week

Playing on my iTunes: John Mayer’s newest live album that my boss kindly shared with me

Book on my nightstand: A couple of books about eating raw and a book about pilates

Drink in my cup: Mimosa.

Latest add to my Google Reader: Anne & Nate’s traveling adventures

Biggest Adventure: Going to the beach

Sweetest Moment: Holding baby Lucy

Favorite Cat of the week: Audrey, because of how she snuggles in bed with me

Tags: Flavor of the week, Life

For my next trick

Today while wasting time on the internet I found my next big craft challenge. I want to knit this beautiful wrap:

I can not stop thinking about this wrap. I must have pulled up the picture a dozen times this afternoon to look and drool over it.

I don’t have a pattern, so I’m still trying to figure out how to make it/get started. If any of you knitters out there have ideas, please let me know.

Tags: Crafty

A good weekend to come

I’m loving the relaxed summer life that makes people focus a little less on work, and little more on what is really important to them. I’ve recently had some great weekends spent with friends. Lots of fun and laughter. Why don’t we live like this all year round?!

This weekend is a continuation of the fun. Tonight I’m going down to Virginia Beach. Hopefully I will be able to find a not-so-crowded spot to rest by the waves and enjoy some reading, writing & napping. After the beach I will take my sunburned self to a friend’s house for an evening of beer making….and drinking. On Sunday I will do some much needed housework after having brunch with ladies who are interested in starting a book club. A few of my favorite things, with a few of my favorite people.

Tags: Friends, Life

Must Share

“A life of geekery and glitter, a life of bliss is finally mine.”

This is a quote from a blog I just discovered. BlissChick amazes me with her gentle inspiring words that capture the spirit of creativity. When you’ve got a few moments check her out - for it’s definitely a blog that will give you a great return on any time you invest into reading it.

Tags: From another

An empty spirit, not an empty stomach

After dinner at last week’s potluck, a few of us gathered in the great room on the cozy red couch and chair to sit under the breeze of the fan and chat. Our conversation eventually revolved around Anne Lamott. Some of us just recently discovered Anne Lamott, while others have been avid readers for years, but we have all fallen in love with her authenticity and beautiful story telling. One by one we shared pieces of our favorite stories. My friend Sarah talked about how she was touched by Anne Lamott’s story of recovery from an eating disorder, which involved reaching out for help, learning to recognize hunger/emptiness and learning how to feed herself.

I had read the same story a few years ago, but now, I can relate to it on a whole new level as I realize that I’ve been trying to comfort myself with food over the past year. I have rarely considered myself an emotional eater. Until recently.

Feeling a little blue? Well, have some ice cream, a glass of wine, and a jar of Nutella. Then you’ll feel better.

I don’t know why I ever fell for that trick. Or even worse, why do I continue to fall for it. It doesn’t make the pain go away, in fact, it usually leaves me with a tummy ache or a hangover. So, I’ve decided that I’m done with that. I want to go back to the way I use to view food - as nourishment, as energy and as a opportunity to share life with others. I want to only feed my stomach food when it is empty. And more importantly I want to take Anne’s story of recovery and learn how to nourish my soul when it is on empty. Instead of reaching for a yummy desert when I feel scared, lonely and empty, I want to reach out for help, learn to recognize hunger/emptiness and learn how to feed myself.

“I live in the nourishment of food and the sun and the warmth of the people who love me.”

From My Secret Body, Anne Lamott

I have to admit its a big step for me to even consider something like this. Grief is a strange emotion, and I know most people experience it differently. For me, it has been a great struggle to want to do something healthy for myself or take care of myself. I’m sure that I will still falter because there is only a tiny part of me that even thinks that overcoming this unhealthy pattern I’ve developed is important, but I must try.

Tags: From another, Healthy Living, Reading

Need a housesitter?

I don’t have any big travel plans for this summer. I made a trip to Baltimore, will head to Narrows for a weekend or two and if I’m lucky I’ll get to go to the beach for a day. But, while I’m spending most of my summer in my inflatable kiddie pool in my backyard, my friends, family & co-workers are traveling the world. Here is a list of some places they are visiting or have visited this summer:

Ireland

London

Italy

Paris

Spain

California

Seattle

Vegas

Milwaukee

OBX

Va Beach

Cancun

Grand Canyon

Canada

Belize

Texas

Savannah

Smoky Mountains

Tags: Family, Friends